Nu

Am obosit.
Fiecare efort, fiecare miscare, fiecare pas ... dor.
Calc in zapada, imi tarai picioarele si las urme. Nu stiu ce ma inclina mai tare, urma pe care o vad sau vantul care o sterge.

Nu mai pot sa fug.
Mi-am incastrat pasii in plumb.
Plumbul e lipit de pamant. Coboara , coboara in vartejuri pana in centrul sferei.

Nu mai pot sa rad.
Stiu ca mi-am pierdut masca, si se aude doar ecoul.
Rasul zboara departe peste colinele din zare, isi pierde echilibrul si cade cu zgomot de furtuna pe iarba.

Nu mai pot sa plang.
Caci nu mai am lacrimi. Doar un noroi tulbure , negru , venit din adancurile mlastinilor.
Ma prefac ca traiesc.
Si stiu cat de josnic este sa te bucuri de prefacatoriile tale. Iubesc minciuna! Da , mint , cu ardoare si e demonica satisfactie.
M-am taiat intr-un gard parasit acum trei luni. Si am vazut ca nu am sange. M-am uitat cu spaima la miile de fire de cupru incolacite in jurul oaselor. Am luat o seringa si am inceput sa-mi injectez cerneala. Sa curga ceva si prin mine.

Nu-mi pasa! Nu vreau! Nu stiu! 

don't

Don't listen to a word i say

.

hodoronc tronc

caci toatele cele se-nvart stand pe loc
parau-i fierbinte si gheata danseaza
iar stropii de ploaie-n desert mai jongleaza
ajuta nisipul sa planga in foc
iar timpul si luna doar stau si-si bat joc
zambeste trifoiul cel plin de noroc
iar noaptea si calmul pe munte aseaza
'nserarea, incerc sa respir dar iar ma sufoc..
iar gandul si ei impreuna pastreaza
ideea, ...nimic, .., nu conteaza,... deloc!

.

ganduri mai vechi..

i am a thief. i am stealing moments from life, from my life , from other people lives, from my people lives. and i put them all together, and like a puzzle they all stand well together, even if they shouldn't. there is something drowning them , gluing them. i am sure it is not me. at least the me that i know. this is why i like to fantasize. i choose to do it. it gives me the parallel univers, in which i feel more at home than anywhere else. there are no doors between those realities. they seem to be, but when crossing, there are no walls and no borders. it all melts together.
this is why i like sarcasm. i try to use it with with cautious, i know it hurts people.  that is the least i want. but it gives me a feeling of being awake. it is my aspirin, in the morning, allowing me to get up and keep going. i like sarcasm, but i am not sarcastic. and if i am, i think about it, asking myself:did i hurt anyone today? still, i need my pill to i can reach the night again, and  get lost in the other world.

hm?

is the yellow fake? i'm not  sure, don't ask... i don't know. i will never know anything, still i can feel things inside.  i never can explain, my mind is not my toughest part. i am slipping on a yellow board in life. but i enjoy it, i like the wind on my face. i like that i don't have to step ahead, i just let myself dragged , wherever the wind blows. i don't really like to move. because i am a stone, washed round by the water.. who said that the stones are dead? they aren't, i can breathe..


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vara

da, e aici. am cateva luni sa plutesc  , sa ma bucur si de zi.

hi hi

pun rar muzica aici, dar acum nu ma pot abtine :))